He said what??? He did what???

My sons are funny little people and lately they have been doing things and saying things that I just can't wrap my head around. Here are the funnies from Son One:

I was getting dressed one morning,putting on my make-up,doing my hair, etc. and in walks Son One. He looks at me with a big smile on his face and says "Well, you're almost beautiful. Good job, Mommy. Keep going!"

Remember the shake weight? Well, one day we were in Joann's Fabrics and they had some on the end cap. Son One looks at me and says "Hey, Mommy. Look. It's the rip-off thingy!" And yes, there were people around. And yes again, they did laugh.

Son One looks at the Hubby and asks if he wants to watch him play his game. The hubby says "not right now buddy. I'm playing with your brother for a minute". Son one doesn't even miss a beat and says "suit yourself."

A few months ago I was talking to Son One about going to school and how very soon he would start attending. His response was "You're going to send me when I'm this little??? You can't do that! I'm not big enough . See how small I am?" That conversation also involved the words "Mommy, that ain't gonna happen!"

And finally, the zoo is apparently "the place where dreams come true".

Now on to Son Two:
The boys are upstairs with the hubby taking a bath and I hear him laughing like a crazy person. When I asked what was going on I was awarded with "Son Two needed to pee and he peed all over Son One's back!" I start laughing and I hear Son One say "that is so not funny!".

Son two has a new trick that he perfected a few days ago. He likes to just off the fireplace without anyone there to catch him. He also thinks it is funny when he lands head first on the ground.

To expand on the above, he has now also done this off of the much higher living room chair.

While walking upstairs tonight I hear Son One say "Daddy, brother is trying to clean the bathtub with the toilet scrubber!" And sure enough, he was in fact cleaning the tub with the dirty toilet scrubber.

On Thursday night we were sitting in the bed and he was playing with my belly,kissing the baby, and the next thing you know he head butts the baby. After I explain to him that it wasn't nice to head butt the baby (and me for that matter) he turns around and does it to his brother!

And finally, the kid has beaten every safety feature that we have put in place. He has pulled the foam off the fireplace, the outlet covers out of the outlets, defeated two different sets of cabinet locks, and climbed up the gate at the top of the stairs.

These are only some of the things that have been going on in our house lately!